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Today, after receiving Kai of course, was one of the most important days to me on this journey. This was the day I was going to gather as much information as I possibly could from my child's personal past.....what little there is in the children coming from China orphanages. I awoke, as mentioned in the previous post, feeling like I would not survive the day. But, I knew that I had to go, although for a split second it entered my mind to send Mom and Scott armed with cameras. But after having waited so long and wanting to go full circle with closures on this journey, I knew I had to experience it myself. When Scott and crew came up from breakfast, I was dressed, barely with makeup and still surviving on sips here and there of Gatorade. I chugged down the last little bit and we headed to the lobby where we found Sara waiting for us. It was as cold and gloomy as I felt when we stepped out the lobby door. We had gone from 80 degrees and sunny to 50's and dark. I nestled myself in the corner of the van covered in jackets and asked Scott to wake me when we arrived. Hence....not many pictures of the trip, although Sara said the scenery from Hangzhou to YiWu (pronounced E-WU) was beautiful. I made sure Kai was fed, clean and warm, and I drifted off to sleep. Halfway through the trip, I felt the van stop it's now familiar humming of the engine. I lifted my head and said, "Are we here?" Sara looks over and said, "No, this is a rest stop, we're about halfway there! Do you want to get out and take pictures or go to the restroom?" I almost felt like saying, "if I get out it would only be to not throw up in your van...." But I didn't....and just said, "I'm ok...thank you!" The true me did realize it was a "Kodak moment" so I sent Scott to video or take some pictures. I did glance over and we were overlooking some beautiful mountains with villages surrounding them, but at that point, they all looked alike and I just wanted to get there. Kai had also slept most of the way and awoke for the rest stop tour. So, I changed his diaper and we all said we were ready to go. Back to sleep until a few minutes before entering YiWu when I heard some commotion coming from within the bus. Apparently we were approaching the YiWu gate toll, which I will post a picture of. YiWu has become an international commodities city. Sara told us that at one point, this small farming town was very poor and that now it has increased its economy so much that many farmers have left farming to work in the hundreds of different industries in the city. Eighty percent of the Christmas decorations imported into the US comes from YiWu City...and no, sorry, we did not shop there. ::sniff:: As we start approaching the orphanage, I tell Sara to please let us know so that I can video. By then, I'm wide awake and start thinking about what life would have been for Kai growing up there. Would he be a farmer? A factory worker? Could he have been offered the opportunities to study? Then, of course, as we enter the city my thoughts turn to his birthmother. I wonder if she thinks about him. What I would give to assure her that her beautiful son is so very loved and will be cared for and given every opportunity to be a successful, young man with high morals and beliefs. I wish she could see how beautiful he is, inside and out. Maybe someday in heaven we will meet, but for now, I will continue to keep her in our prayers that her heart be filled with as much joy as ours are with love and pride for this little person. In the distance I hear Sara speaking and I come back to reality. Our van is pulling into the orphanage. The place where our son has lived since birth, where he was placed covered in blankets on the doors of the gate of this institution. Obviously, so that he could be found and cared for. I look at him and can't believe that someone would leave a tiny infant on the ground waiting for someone to find them, but I also know that she may not have had any choice. My heart continues to believe that she loved him and because of his cleft lip and palate, just could not care for him. And even stronger feelings are that our Lord who has destined everything for us, created Kai to be ours....so, I'm certainly not complaining. When we enter the orphanage, we follow our guide up to a conference room. On the table is laid out fresh fruit...UGH!!!! Sara made a big deal about how gracious our hosts were to prepare the fruit for us and we said thank you...but discreetly did not pick up any fruit. We gave the Directors there gifts. At that point, I reminded Sara how important it was for her to mention to the directors that I really wanted to meet and at least take 1 picture of the 4 children who's families, from HFS, were still waiting at home. The AD (assistant director) then asked me for their full names. YIKES! I only had the short names from the internet. He said he did not know who they were from those names, and then went on to say that we should start our tour. I told Sara to please tell him that this was so very important. That I know that while I was waiting I would have done anything to get a glimpse of Wen Kai. I said, "maybe if you give me internet access I could show you the pictures." Sara laughed, but went ahead and told him. He agreed!!! He said to follow him to his office. In my sick stupor I chuckled to myself that here I was in China, surfing the internet while sitting at the orphanage director's desk! LOL! I prayed that the children's pictures were still up on the HFS website....we waited for what seemed like 10 minutes for the dial-up to connect, and then, even in Chinese, I recognized the "PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED" logo that windows shows. ARGH!!! He could see the frustration in my face and said to Sara, "if I show her pictures from the file could she point them out?" Sara translated and I suddenly felt so much better. I said "YES!!" So, we sat and went thru several files until I saw the little precious faces of Sai Sai, Xian, Lu Lu and Hao come up!! Whew! We did it! Thank you, Lord. I know it was all you!! After he wrote down the children's full name he pointed for us to go back to the conference room. Sara told us he wanted us to enjoy the fruit. Oh my God! I was nauseous at it was, all I needed was to eat something to make me go over the edge. I quickly grabbed a banana and a water bottle. I took a couple of sips of the water, and peeled the almost green banana. ICK! But, I did recognize that this was a very nice gesture on their part. I glanced at Scott and crew and told them to eat a little something. I took a very small bite of my banana and then turned to Kai. At that point, he was my "dog under the table". Luckily, he loved it....and I gladly fed him the entire thing! :) We thanked him for the fruit and gathered the gifts for the nannies before heading up to the bedrooms where the babies were. At Yiwu City Social Welfare Institute they have only 40 children, as per the AD. 95% of these children are special needs and they average only 10 adoptions per year, domestic and international combined. We went up some open stairways that brought us to a court yard. It was not very large, open and could certainly have used some painting. When we entered the baby room, I had to take a deep breath, it smelled of urine and my weak stomach was barely holding up. The cribs had little mattresses on them, not bare with plywood, like I've seen in many orphanage videos. The children were bundled in many layers with those same cords wrapped around them to hold their clothes up. The smell was really getting to me, but then suddenly, I saw all of those babies....probably 20 of them....and it took everything I had for me not to grab as many as I could and run. They were beautiful. Many with obvious special needs, others with ones you could not detect by looking at them. There were 4 nannies in white coats in there. All of a sudden, there was chaos, the AD, the nannies and a couple of others who came into the room speaking loudly in Chinese....babies crying, standing at their cribs watching intently as these strangers peered down at them. I immediately asked to see the children I requested. He told me I could see all but one because she wasn't feeling well. I begged him that it was so important for me to tell their family that I had seen her....to please even for a minute allow me that. I could tell this man was very kind, and although very strict in policy, he understood. He allowed me to go to her crib. She was beautiful. This was the last of the YiWu babies to find their forever families, and I am so glad that God granted me the opportunity to take pictures for her family. I also ask all of the prayer warriors at home to lift this baby up in prayer that she regain her health and that all the paperwork necessary be expedited so that her family can bring her home as soon as possible! We know how awesome our God is and nothing is impossible with him...we just need to ask...and believe! Shortly afterwards, I had lost track of Kai since he was with Scott, I hear a lot of excitement from the other end of the room. I look back and there is Kai, in his nanny's arms! I had not had the opportunity to meet this woman because she had not gone to the Civil Affairs Office the day we got him. I could see the love in their eyes...both Kai's and hers, Cun Fang. Two of the boys from HFS, Hao and Xian, were also cared for by her. Kai's eyes shined as he looked at her and his smile warmed my heart. The conditions my beautiful son lived in for the past two years were by no means acceptable to me, but the love that was so evidently provided to him made up for everything else. I know he was cared for and loved, and everything else he will recover from. He has loved and been loved. I could not ask for more! With teary eyes, I asked Sara to please tell her that we appreciated so much the love that she had for him these past 22 months and that we thanked her very much for caring so well for him. She graciously bowed and said thank you....and then she, with wet eyes, said, I cared for him since he was a day old. I could imagine what a bittersweet moment it must be for this amazing woman. She gives her all to these children, knowing in her heart that the healthier they are, the more chances they have of being whisked away to some foreign land, never to be seen again. But I also could tell in her words that she was so very happy for her "Wen Kai." She told us what a good boy he was....we of course, gleamed, as proud parents do. The AD then came and told us we needed to hurry because he had made reservations and wanted to invite us to lunch. OH LORD! NO!! More Chinese food!! I told Sara that it was very kind of him, but because I had been so sick, I really couldn't eat, and the rest of the crew was not that hungry. She insisted that we must go because it is an "honorary" thing to do. OK!! We agreed. We took pictures and some short video clips of the Harrah's children and I gave the nannies and the rest of the children some small gifts I had brought for each of them. I made sure that the HFS little ones I handed their little beanie babies to in person. They were sweet beyond words. I made sure to tell each of them their Mama's and families loved them very much....and had Sara translate. We again were nudged to go. We said our final goodbyes and headed downstairs to the van. One of the important tasks on my list was to meet, if possible, the man that found Kai at the gates. He was an older gentleman with a very kind face who worked as a security guard at the orphanage. The AD reminded me of seeing him and we walked over to him. He told us he has found many children and is happy that one is going to a family that will love him. I took a few pictures with him holding Kai. I cannot imagine this man going to work in the mornings and finding, not one...but MANY children awaiting his arrival. We begin heading to the van and Sara calls out to us. The AD wants to take a family picture of us as a keepsake. He also handed Scott his card with name, phone and email address. I am so grateful for this because if someday we want to bring Kai back to see his roots, we will have a starting place. We can also send pictures of how well Kai is thriving so that maybe they will advocate for more children's files to be sent to the CCAA for adoption. I told him many, many families in the US are willing to adopt special needs children, he just could not understand why....but he was happy to hear that. We finally boarded the van and headed to the restaurant. On the way there, I had Sara explain to the Directors that I truly had not been feeling well, and to please not be offended if I did not eat much. She did, and they responded by saying they understood. We arrive within minutes at a VERY nice restaurant. One that the Director apparently frequents because the manager came to greet us as we entered, and it was obvious they were friends. One of the very different things about restaurants in China is that each restaurant has separate dining rooms...literally dining rooms, in which you walk in and there is usually a round table in the room with maybe 8-10 chairs and a lamp hanging over the table. After everyone is seated, the waitress comes in and closes the door. It is very private. We entered this huge place and immediately I could smell the very distinct smell of Chinese food. Again, it took everything I had not to throw up. I knew I could eat nothing, and kept wondering how I could graciously excuse myself from this. My stomach was cramping, it was incredibly hot in there, and I was feeling very fatigued as I carried around my 20 lb. appendage, Kai. We entered the "dining room" and all sat around this huge table with a lazy susan in the center. Sara, our guide, mentioned that several courses would be served! OH GOD!!! That meant a loong lunch!! The first course, cold food...beans, cantelope, some greens, and who knows what else. I tried not looking at the food and fidgeted as much as possible with Kai, who sat quietly next to me in his high chair. Then the mixture of smells started coming....first roasted duck, then pork, then beef, and so on. Approximately 10 different dishes were now spinning before me on this lazy susan and my stomach churned with every spin. I reached over and grabbed a couple of squares of cantelope and toyed with them on my plate. I fed Kai some soup. The director asked if I was going to eat anything....I again mentioned I was not feeling so well, but that their kindness and hospitality was very much appreciated. I wonder if he could tell by the look on my face that I just wanted to get out of there! Kai had been constipated for almost 2 days and began crying while he was trying to go to the bathroom. I excused myself as I quietly thanked God for allowing me the opportunity to get out of the room! I ran to the nearest bathroom. I figured I could hold him while I threw up! Luckily, Amanda followed....and she watched him while I emptied my stomach yet once again. I washed up (and was ecstatic these were western toilets and not squat potties) and changed his diaper. Then just walked around the marble filled bathroom admiring the beautiful vases and paintings on the wall. I think I might have taken much longer than what I thought, because Sara came to check on me. I apologized and said the baby was cranky and I would be right there. I gathered his things and went back into the room. Once inside, I motioned to Scott to please let's try and get out quick. I needed to get back to the hotel or at least to the van. Small talk was exchanged for a bit and then we all started getting up! Thank goodness....it was over. But...it wasn't! Sara told us that the monies we donated to the orphanage was given to her in cash. The director refused to accept cash and said we could donate a washing machine to the orphanage. That was fine with us, if that is what the orphanage needed....so give him the money and tell him to buy whatever the money will buy. He said that the gift had to come from us. We had to go buy the washing machine!! ARGH!!! I told Sara there was no way I could go on. She said the van was parked very far and that the appliance store was just around the corner....the Director would accompany us. They must've thought I was either an American spoiled brat or quite rude, but when we got to the store, I said...I really can't stand much longer. I feel really, really sick! My head was spinning and I felt like my legs were going to give way. The director pulled a chair out for me at the front of the store and told me to wait there while they shopped. He must've had a washing machine in mind because less than 10 minutes later, the deed was done! It was all over and we were heading back. We boarded the van. Amanda asked if she could hold Kai on the way back. Up to that point, I had been really diligent in holding Kai for the bonding process. When she asked....I was at the point that the driver could have held Kai while he drove....it didn't matter. All I wanted was to lay my head back and sleep! I don't know how I made it back to the hotel. All I remember was laying back and opening my eyes 3 hours later as we pulled into the driveway of the hotel in Hangzhou. I kissed Kai as I ran up the elevator...walked in and collapsed on the bed. About 3 hours later, Scott ordered room service and I managed to put down about 1/2 of it....then drifted off again to sleep. At 5:30 am, I awoke to the sounds of a baby's whimper....our sweet boy. I felt so much better. It was a new day.
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