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Last Minute Instructions, Packing....

and we're off to the hospital!

Amanda had been picked up by Abuela Titi (her grandmother) and was safely tucked in.  The last night without our little one ended at approximately 11:00 pm, when we said we'd head to bed having to get up at 4:30 am.  We were packed and ready to go, nothing to do but wait until AJ made his appearance into the world.    Needless to say, sleep was not part of my itinerary.  I was a nervous wreck.  Scott was not much better.  I can't even begin to tell say how many times I had to fight the thought of "Oh my Gosh, this is never gonna happen!!"   I have never been so nervous about anything in my whole, entire life.  Our future lay a young woman's decision.....yet, my soul kept telling me God was in control.  Finally, at 1:40 a.m., I shut the TV off and forced myself to stop my brain from thinking the thoughts that ranged from being handed a gorgeous little boy and hearing the words, "Congratulations!" to thoughts that drowned me in darkness as the thought of being told, "I'm sorry......." crept into my mind.

At 4:30 a.m. the alarm rang.   I sprung with a leap out of bed!  Our clothes were neatly laid out from the night before and I jumped in the shower and Scott readied himself for what would turn out to be one of the most, if not the most, emotionally draining days of our lives.   We knew our birth Mom wanted us to meet her family this morning.  Would they like us?  Would they convince her to take other steps?  Would she not be able to go through with it?  There were so many unanswered questions.  Scott's faith held strong and did not waiver.  I was the weak one.   I could not stop thinking about all those "what ifs....".

At 5:05 am, we got in the car and headed to the hospital.